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Why it’s OKAY to Not Have it All Figured Out!

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Is it okay to not have it all figured out?

Is it okay to not have it all figured out?

Today’s blog, like all others, is most certainly a conversation between you and me. But this serious chit-chat is directly for the person who thinks they are doing everything wrong, right now. To the person who thinks they are failing or sinking too deep, I am here for you. And I’m here to give you a little pep talk I think we could all use. It’s been over a year now since Covid completely changed our lives. I don’t think a single person could say their life hasn’t been affected by Covid either by getting the virus itself or its indirect effects. And I believe, more people have asked themselves “Is it okay to not have it all figured out right now?” more in the last year than ever.

But, I think we are beginning to see a light at the end of this quarantined tunnel. The vaccine is being rolled out across countries and people everywhere are paving the way for a maskless time again. The effects of Covid have gone deep for many, questioning our ability to move forward in our lives. Making us question how can we reach our goals, or simply make the next step? So today on La.Rue, we’re going to turn the focus on you and on your future. We are not going to figure it all out today, and that’s okay, we are going to make some mindset shifts, re-evaluate the progress we have made, and devise a plan to move forward in that state of our “new normal.”

PEP TALK IN PROGRESS…

My goal here today is to offer advice, solace, and comfort in times of distress. I want you to start by stopping right here. Take a moment to close your eyes and clear your head. If something is stressing you out, practice breathing exercises and put the thoughts out of your mind. I want your head clear for this next exercise. When you’re ready, come back to this moment. We are going to address your concerns as much as we can without you and I having an actual conversation, which may seem difficult, but is possible. What I want you to do is grab a piece of paper and a pencil and start by answering a few questions.

Write down the question at the top of the paper: “Is it okay to not have everything figured out?”

Then answer these…

  1. Something that changed in your life because of Covid that you wish hadn’t.
  2. Something that changed in your life because of Covid that you’re grateful for.
  3. 5 things you are completely happy about in your life right now.
  4. 5 things you want to change in your life.
  5. Your top 5 dreams in life.
  6. Which one of those top 5 dreams would you like to achieve in the next year.

When you look at your answers to all of these questions, do they each correlate to each other? Are the things you dream of achieving solutions to the things you desire change for? Because mine certainly are. So the question you and I really need to answer here is how can we get from point a to point b? So when you’re writing this list again in a few years, your answers to “what you’re completely happy about” are the things you once dreamed about achieving. How do we make those dreams a reality?

Forward Progress

Even if you don’t have it all figured out, which who really does? Were you able to answer all of those questions? Having it “all figured out” doesn’t mean having the answers to all of life’s questions. I believe that as long as you’re able to understand what you want out of life, meaning where you’d like to end up, the middle will fill in naturally. We change every day. As we continue to learn and grow, our values and beliefs continue to change as well. The things we want out of life change through our experiences and things we thought were important maybe won’t be in five years. What we need to know now is how we can make forward progress. Whatever you define that to mean. What can you do in your life to actively move forward in reaching just one of those goals or changes?

I have an issue with getting hung up on the future and on “what if’s” that I don’t live in the present. That’s why I asked you to write down five things in your life that you’re happy about. Those things don’t need changing, at least not right now. The next time you feel like you’re not making forward progress, remember those five things. The reason those things don’t need to be changed is that they already were changed, and NOW they are the things that make you happy. You were able to make forward progress on those things in your life, and now you feel so happy about them that they don’t need changing. A few years ago, those may have been the things on your “to be changed list,” now they’re you’re accomplishments. Remember that even when you feel you’re not moving forward, you are.

From Me to You… 

I know that the world is a very tough and brutal place right now. You never know what may happen next, and we’re always on edge to the next piece of “bad news” we could receive. But instead of sitting on the edge of our seats, park your butt in the back of that throne and slump down like you own the place. Because today, we do. It can be hard to find confidence and motivation in a year that has been so full of negativity. But today, we are confident. Today, we are moving forward in our lives, and we are proud of the progress we are making. It’s OKAY not to have the next ten years of your life planned out. It’s also OKAY if you do.

Like I mentioned in the blog, How Millennials Can Navigate Adulthood Successfully, don’t let pressures of the outside world get to you. Live in your life and in your moment. Take your life day by day and work on building a future plan by setting goals you want to achieve. Take the things that are important to you now and build a solid present, plan. In one year, if that plan has changed, that’s ok. We’re supposed to adapt to change. Wherever you are in your life right now is where you’re meant to be, making forward progress, having none of it figured out.

Xo,  lauren

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