Self-Reflection Journal: A New Series, Entry One

Since the new year, I’ve been really good at practicing daily journaling. Every morning, or most mornings, I wake up and practice my morning routine, which includes 15 minutes of uninterrupted journaling. It’s a moment for me to brain-dump anything and everything I want to just put on the page. It’s become a great resource for me to continue practicing honesty with myself. So many times, I’ve seen myself admit the hard stuff. In this self-reflection journal, I’ve seen myself become more and more comfortable with my own thoughts and emotions. So when I sat down to write this blog, knowing it would go under the All Things Lauren category, I thought I’d start a new series.

This Self-Reflection Journal series is something I’d like to play around with. My hope is that it’s essentially a blog/ journal dump, more true to the sense of a day-to-day blog. The purpose of it being here is to share unedited thoughts, musings, and lessons that I’m actively practicing or seeing in my life. The thought to do this came over the last week of feeling very emotionally drained and sad. I’ve been really sick over the last week with Bronchitis, and I tend to get very existential when I get sick. I hate the feeling of being out of control and feeling lazy even though I need the rest. I haven’t journaled all week, so I thought it might be productive to journal in the blog with the hope that these thoughts may comfort someone else.

Self-Reflection Journal: Entry One

Honestly, I’ve just been sad this week. I don’t know what it is about me and getting sick, but it just overwhelms my entire life. Like most things I do, I don’t half-ass anything, and apparently, my body agrees with me, even when it comes to getting sick. It’s Tuesday, over a week after I’ve gotten sick, and I’m in Charleston for work, trying to get better. I’m trying not to get overwhelmed, but I can see the most obvious thing that’s happening right now is my body is demanding a break. When our bodies demand something from us, like physical healing, we have no choice but to listen. But, something very beautiful and empowering that I’ve learned by joining the intentional living and spiritual conversation is that when we’re sick, our bodies are also expelling what we no longer need.

Being sick means our bodies are in a state of release. We’re releasing energy, toxins, germs, and anything that is no longer serving us. So while I completely empathize with the absolute suck, of being sick, sometimes it’s the prelude to an uplevel or awakening within us. The lesson in all of this has been hard to swallow. It’s hard letting go of control and accepting that my body is in a state of release. But in the discomfort, I’ve found ways to practice gratitude. Gratitude is one of the most powerful energies we can manifest from. Centering your energy in gratitude, even if the moment or experience you’re in is one of discomfort, immediately changes your energy to invite something new in.

Inviting in New Energy

What’s most important to remember here, is that while you’re looking to invite new energy in, you can’t do it from a place of desperation to get out of where you are now. Having gratitude means being grateful for exactly where you’re at, even when it’s not everything you want. Discomfort in our lives is good. It highlights where we’re not always happy with things. I like taking notice of where I feel discomfort in my life because it prompts me to see where I can apply changes or growth. The moments when we feel really stuck or in lack can often mean a big change is coming. But a few things need to happen to invite that change. We have to actually be open to it happening.

Often, we’ll get so complacent in our lives that we become resentful of change. We say it’s not possible for good changes to happen to us. You have to be open to the change coming into your life and open to it being even better than you can imagine. We have to be open to change coming to us, and we have to believe we’re worthy of it. Once we’re open to our lives or circumstances changing, we need to make room for that change. A lot of the time, making that room comes in form of some sort of release. For example, if we’re feeling stuck in a relationship, the Universe might hand us a situation for that tough release of a friend to come to you can create space for someone new to come in.

Release and Replenish

Once the release happens, other circumstances will change because of it. Every choice or experience in our lives has some sort of domino effect. Meaning it may simply ruffle the feathers of your life, or it may rattle the entire cage. But, either way, the change is happening to make room for something new. The Universal law of Attraction and Abundance teaches us that the Universe will always replenish where we’re in lack. So when one door of your life closes, another (or several others) will open in its place.

I hope this blog feels like a conversation between you and me. I hope it’s comforting for you to read the same way it is for me to write it. We’re never alone in our fears or doubts. It’s okay to get down sometimes. It’s okay to release the energy and toxins we no longer need—specifically if our bodies are demanding it. I’m going to continue taking some time for rest. Two weeks of rest and replenishment are far better and more intentional than trying to “power through” a sickness that will last much longer without rest. I invite you to listen to your body and perhaps practice some journaling. Try doing a gratitude dump or setting your timer for 15 minutes to simply write. It’s amazing what a little bit of openness can help you realize.