The phrases “rejection is redirection” or “rejection is protection” are tossed around a lot in the spiritual conversation. And yet, it’s still one of those things that are (far) easier to say than do. When someone says one of these phrases to us, we usually nod our heads aimlessly while ruminating on the pain of whatever rejection we’ve just experienced. But in the spiritual conversation we’re always building on, it’s simply the truth. No matter the pain in the moment of rejection, it always comes with one overarching message: It was not meant for you. The rejection is redirecting you on a more precise and loving path to your dreams and what you desire.

The most complex block to move past isn’t necessarily the pain of the rejection itself. But when we think something is so right for us, we become fixated on the ways it will fit into and change our lives. So, when the rejection happens, the “plan” suddenly changes. We’re left feeling lost on what direction to move in next. The fear, disappointment, and sadness come with not knowing the answer to the “What’s next?” question. But what if we can redirect the energy of rejection and give ourselves exactly that change we desire?

Rejection Is Not a Reflection of Our Worth

There are so many emotions we feel with rejection. So often, our thoughts go right to thinking we’re not good enough. And if you experience rejection enough, it becomes that which we base our worth upon. Rejection is not a reflection of our worth. This week, on the Do the Damn Thing Podcast, I’m sharing a very personal story of a time in my life when a rejection nearly brought me to my knees. I encourage you to listen to the story and how I found my “redirection” at that moment in my life. But on the blog, I want to talk about YOUR VALUE—which is infinite. And as hard as it may be to believe, rejection is your redirection to a path of your greatest unfolding.

The Spiritual Message of Rejection

In many perceived negative experiences in our lives, we file them away under one consuming emotion. A fight with a friend makes you angry. The death of a loved one makes you sad. Of course, every experience we have is multi-faceted with our emotions. As I’ve shared before, my significant hurdles in overcoming my grief at the loss of my brother wasn’t even the grief itself but the guilt, shame, and resentment. This is exactly how rejection feels. It’s an overwhelming, consuming mixture of embarrassment, shame, anger, grief, confusion, and whatever else you want to throw into the melting pot. And that is what makes rejection so overwhelming. It’s actually quite similar to the grieving process; we must go through our own stages of emotions to reach acceptance.

But the acceptance isn’t even what I’m pointing at today. I’m pointing beyond acceptance at a final step of understanding/ embracing. Understand the experience wasn’t for you. Embrace the rejection as a path driving you closer to what is meant for you. The spiritual message of rejection teaches us that this is a step, not the final destination. To overcome the concoction of emotions, we must start by embracing this message, then healing the emotions. Without the understanding that this rejection is leading you to somewhere more extraordinary, you will be left wondering that same question we asked before, “What next?”

Redirecting the Energy of Rejection

So how do we heal an amalgamation of embarrassment, shame, anger, grief, and confusion? EFT, of course (you already knew I was going to say that). But beyond EFT, we need to redirect the energy from the experience of rejection. And that is (finally) what I’ve been leading this conversation towards. Here’s the thing about redirecting your rejection: it could take time—perhaps a lot—to see beyond the pain of rejection and find its meaning. To redirect the pain of rejection, we have to source a new area or topic to send that energy. So if you’ve just been rejected from your dream job, the natural inclination would be to (hopelessly) continue searching. That’s not what I mean.

To source our energy elsewhere, we need to decipher where exactly that energy was driven to and then hit a brick wall. Let me explain. Let’s go back to the example of someone being rejected from their dream job. Before the rejection, this person is likely driving all (and I mean all) of their expectations around their potential new life from receiving this job. Maybe they’re planning a vacation and already have in mind what days they’ll take off, ready to request it when they receive their offer. Or maybe they’re planning to buy a house and their signing bonus will do the trick. Perhaps they know that this new job will require different hours than their previous, so when a friend invites them to an upcoming event, they’ll have to “let them know” because they’re not sure what the days will be like.

Giving Yourself What the Rejection Couldn’t

Now imagine this person thinking all these things and basing the entire next chapter of their life around what this dream job will change, add, or modify. Now imagine receiving that rejection. Everything they perceived to be different or changing is now different and changing in much less desirable. And NOW, add in all of those emotions we talked about before; you’re sitting in a perfect concoction of chaos. To move beyond the chaos, you must give yourself all the change you thought would come from receiving rather than being rejected. Happiness, feelings of success, pride, growth, etc., all of the positive emotions you likely thought would come from receiving whatever it is you desire is what you need to give yourself in return.

Everything begins and ends with you. And when you can learn to give yourself all that you dream of and more, the job offers, promotions, experiences, people, and everything else will come flowing in as the cherry on top. But remember, you’re the cake. Listen to episode 33 of the Podcast, It Begins & Ends With You, to learn more about my teaching on offering yourself what you desire.