As you begin to dive deeper into your intentional living journey, you’ll realize that there are fewer and fewer things you’re willing to compromise on. Things that feel less intentional or don’t add intentional value to your life are no longer necessary—this goes for friendships too. The people you choose to keep around you have a significant impact on who you are, how you act, and the energy you maintain. In fact, their impact runs so deep that your friends have the power to change your life. They’re the ones who are there for us when our lives are changing for the good, and for the bad. They’re shoulders to cry on and cheerleaders for our success. Your friends should be a safe space to land, an ear to listen, and a supportive hand. Female Friendship is about encouraging one another to succeed, challenging limits, and supporting big dreams.
Because here is the thing about empowering female friendships: sometimes, we can be so blinded by our own love or fear, that we can’t see the reality of a situation. We put on rose-colored glasses to the things we fear may hurt us, or become consumed by one particular emotion, person, or situation that we can’t see clearly. But our friends know how to gently take off those glasses and guide us through the path. When we’re in these situations, our friends are often the people who know us better than ourselves. It’s not to say that it’s their responsibility to have the answers or know the solutions. They’re simply present, never judging, and always there to support you.
The Impact of Female Friendships
Throughout our lives, we’ll have a series of close friends: friends from high school, college, camps, or study abroad. We’ll have friends that are friends of our friends who become close friends. Did I say friend enough? But, every once in a while, we’ll meet someone new, who we just have an instant soul sister connection to, and just know—that’ll be a friend for life. But here’s what I think a lot of us struggle with, that connection won’t be with everyone. Sometimes it’s connections we can outgrow because we’re no longer the same person. Or perhaps there is a new physical distance and the friendship is harder to maintain. Either way—just as the saying goes—friends will come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. The ones that stick around for a lifetime are the friends that will change your life.
A friend is some who helps you up when you’re down, and if they can’t, they lay down beside you and listen.Winnie the pooh
The hills and valleys of friendship
One of the most asked questions I receive from clients, readers, or listeners in regards to friendship is “How do I know if I’ve outgrown a friend, or if we’re simply in a rough patch?” This is a good time to call on your intuitive subconscious voice. Although you’re asking the question and seeking the answer, it’s often one you’ve already answered on your own. It’s in these cases we’re scared to let go of a friend who has made an impact on our life. And I think this is where people may miss the mark on Intentional friendships. When a friendship is nearing an end, or you feel you’re no longer really lifting each other up, it doesn’t have to be because something happened or a fight broke out.
We tend to feel guilty and then talk ourselves out of those tough conversations because there isn’t a “solid” reason to end a friendship. The two of you are simply moving in different directions of life now, and it’s okay to part ways. Not every friendship has to be a lifetime. But the thing to remember is, that person served an impact and your life, and although the friendship may be ending, it was still intentional. And I think we can really feel the guilt or second-guessing when it’s a friend who has made a significant impact on our lives. But here’s the hard truth—sometimes our lives change and expand so much, that we’re no longer the person we used to be. And the new version of ourselves has different expectations or goals for the friends we surround ourselves with.
Expectations of Friendships
If you’re on this journey, showing up every day first and foremost for yourself to live intentionally, you know that you need to surround yourself with friends who are doing the same. This isn’t to say that you and your close-knit group of friends need to be living the same life, but rather share many of the same values. The “expectation” of friendships under the conversation of intentionality goes far beyond simply being there for one another, which many of our friends can do for us. Intentional female friendships like this, the ones that create that close-knit group for you, or the ones you identify with that “forever stamp,” hold one highly valued expectation beyond most friendships: together, you challenge each other to dream bigger because your belief in the other person can sometimes outweigh their belief in themselves.
This expectation goes beyond expecting someone to be there for you or support you when you’re down because those duties of a friend are implied. This is a person you can rely on for anything, share all fears, successes, triumphs, and downfalls. This is the person that will be there on both the day you achieve your dreams and the most difficult day of your life. They’re your confidant and someone who shares a piece of you, because they always see in you what you sometimes have a difficulty seeing in yourself: your destiny to live a beautiful life.
Listen to this week’s podcast on Friendships to hear more about continual growth, empowerment, and love in female friendships.
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Head over to the Do the Damn Thing Podcast on Apple or Spotify and listen to the conversation! The podcast is an open forum conversation where we dive even deeper into all that is intentional living.