Write | Inspire | Dream
We are all inherently worthy of the success we desire. There is no outside force beyond ourselves that can bring us the success we desire. There is no job, no income, and no person who will somehow fulfill what we’re lacking. On Wednesday’s Do the Damn Thing Podcast, I talked about the concept of success as an inherent value we possess within ourselves. We often see success as this end result or something that we receive outside of ourselves. We give it value like a house, car, income, job position, and see it as the thing that makes us successful, rather than a result of our success. When, in fact, it’s the opposite. It is because of our success that we maintain these “things” that portray our success. But what if success was actually a concept and something we all actively maintained?
In the podcast, I posed three questions: 1. When was the last time you felt “successful?” 2. What was the “thing” that made you feel successful (i.e., job position, promotion, purchase, etc.)? And 3. Was it the thing itself or you that made you feel successful? Short answer: it should always be you that is the success story. The things we buy are the showmen of our success, the way we indulge in our earnings, and how we celebrate ourselves. But they are not what make us successful people. What does? Our drive, passion, determination, work ethic, and grit are what make us successful. We push aside those values and seek validation in things outside of ourselves because we’re scared to see our inherent worthiness of success. Instead, we should celebrate those values and embrace our confidence in our work and our worthiness of success.
Success Outside Ourselves
There is a difference between someone who is a successful person and someone who has success. Certain things can factor into someone’s success or lack thereof; generational wealth, opportunity, even luck. But, putting all of that aside, being successful, I think, still comes down to one thing: a person’s values and their passion for those values. We often fear success and the process of going after it. It’s usually a path of great resistance with many curves and a fair amount of heartache. Those are all qualities that push us outside of our comfort zone and beyond the barriers of our safety net. We see success as something we need to attain rather than something we maintain and enhance with all we accomplish.
Success is not a facet of our lives that exists outside of ourselves. Rather, it is a piece of us that we nurture to grow, and we become better at the things we do, the lives we live, the people we exist as. When we look at success as a destination and the road to get there is the place outside of our comfort zone, we tend to belittle our ability to navigate. This is where the fear of success exists. It’s not that we fear the success itself or fear basking in the glory of all that it brings. We fear the journey, potential failure, vulnerability, and pushing ourselves beyond what we feel is comfortable.
The Comfort Zone Concept
There are certain things we should always feel comfortable in–our body, our skin, our safety, our home. Then, there are other things where comfortability can become a resting stone where challenge lays to rest: our jobs, our mindset, our strength, our knowledge. This isn’t to say that we should never be comfortable, but being comfortable in these things for too long means we lack challenge. We get too comfortable in the mediocrity and repetition of the day-to-day that when we do once again decide to dream big, the journey of the dream sounds terrifying. This is the “too comfortable in the comfort zone” concept. This is when we begin allowing self-doubt and fear to overtake the dream itself, and that’s why the fear of success exists for so many.
We begin telling ourselves things like, “I’m not worthy; I’m not smart enough; not good enough; not qualified enough.” We let those thoughts overpower the desire for success, and this is where we begin looking to validate our success outside of ourselves. We begin telling ourselves, “if I just get this one job” or “if I just get this one thing,” then I’ll be successful. We begin to think the success we actively maintain through our knowledge, integrity, passion, and values aren’t enough, so we validate them through things we think other people value, like the cost of a home or the title of a job. These are the things we feel comfortable in rather than our own confidence and success.
Mindset Shift: Worthy of Success
Success mindset is all about maintaining the concept of knowing you have all you need to be successful within you. This isn’t to say that people, opportunities, and resources aren’t going to be an aide in your ongoing success journey, but they’re not what you should ever accredit your success to. Your success is your own. It’s never something you need to seek beyond the confines of what is already within you. Sometimes it takes time to find our passion for what we love. It takes work to build that determination and work ethic for growth in our jobs. But in time and with mindset work, we can build on the notion that success is not an end result. Rather, it’s a quality we maintain and enhance with milestones and achievements.