• All Things Lauren
  • Intentional Living
  • Lifestyle Development
  • Nav Social Icons

  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • Resources
  • Coaching
    • Coaching Suite
    • Journey App
  • Podcast
    • Season 1
    • Season 2
  • Blog
    • All Things Lauren
    • Intentional Living
    • Lifestyle Development
  • Course
  • Shop
    • Products
    • Freebies
    • Cart
    • Checkout
    • My Account
  • Contact
  • Subscribe
  • Mobile Menu Widgets

    Connect

    Search

La.Rue

La.Rue

The Ultimate Intentional Living & Lifestyle Brand

  • Blog
    • All Things Lauren
    • Intentional Living
    • Lifestyle Development
  • Podcast
    • Season 1
    • Season 2
  • Coaching
    • Coaching Suite
    • Testimonials
    • Journey Collaboration
  • Course
  • About
    • La.Rue Creative Studio
  • Shop
    • Products
    • Freebies
    • Cart
    • Checkout
    • My Account
  • Resources
    • Subscribe
  • Contact

How to Recognize Toxicity in your Life & Change It

March 22, 2021 · In: Intentional Living

Write | Inspire | Dream

Recognize Toxicity

Often, we get comfortable in our day-to-day lives that we ignore things that could use change. We blindly ignore the toxicity in our lives so we can continue to be “comfortable.”. But, in reality, it’s only making us unhappy and miserable. Instead, we should address these issues, whether in a friendship, familial, or colleague relationship, and decide what needs changing. Sometimes it could mean having some tough conversations or even no longer having someone in your life. But we have to understand that we’re changing our lives by doing what’s best for us. This week on La.Rue, we’re discussing how to recognize toxicity, how it can affect us, and ways to change it. Just like our ability to learn from failure, I believe our best way to move forward from a toxic relationship is to understand the role we played in it, learn from it, and move on.

When we allow toxic people to remain in our lives, their negativity can begin to manipulate our perception of ourselves. But, too often, we push that aside and ignore it for the sake of a relationship or comfortability. By allowing this toxicity to stay in our lives, we become bitter, resentful people, eventually embodying those traits and bringing them into other relationships we have. Today, we’re going to talk about how to recognize this behavior and ways to address it. 

How to Recognize Toxic Behavior

 Usually, we can recognize significant behavior traits from the very beginning of a new relationship. But sometimes, it takes time for that truly toxic trait to bubble to the surface until that becomes the only thing we can see. We like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Until one day, the doubt is no longer there, and it’s been replaced with confidence that this person is not someone you should have in your life. We have the ability to recognize toxic behavior, usually right off the bat, so why do we ignore it?

What do you consider toxic behavior? Manipulation, lying, narcissism, someone who is controlling, negative, someone who is selfish? We recognize this toxic behavior when we see the way these actions affect our own thoughts and actions. Our ability to recognize toxicity in someone comes when we walk away from someone feeling emotionally exhausted and depleted. We understand a toxic relationship is growing increasingly toxic when one side gives more than they’re receiving. Thus, the actions of the person feeling “overly giving” are underappreciated. But toxic behavior becomes truly toxic when someone’s behavior or actions affect you in a negative way, even when they’re not around. We see this when our emotions and energy begin to change around this person. A nervousness or anxiety sets in when you’re about to see them and it becomes toxic to your emotional state. 

Setting Boundaries 

The first step in dealing with someone’s toxicity is setting boundaries. Boundaries also mean confronting this person about your own feelings. Let them know how you’re feeling and why. This is an important conversation to have because you’re offering up you’re own emotional vulnerability while letting them know how they’re affecting you. If you feel that this conversation can’t be had because it might be too difficult, then you need to step up some boundaries. Make it a point to do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. That could mean leaving a situation when you’re feeling it move in the wrong direction or stopping a conversation or situation when it’s moving away from your comfort zone. 

Point blank, you need to be asking yourself if this is a relationship worth saving and if you’re willing to invest in it. If you decide this is a relationship you’d like to keep, try viewing the situation with compassion or empathy rather than judgment. If you’re able to see their side of things and maybe why they act the way they do, you can develop a better understanding of their behavior. But keep your boundaries and standards for the relationship. Ultimately, you’ll figure out whether or not the investment is worth it for you. Growing in a relationship means understanding your role in it. By setting boundaries and acknowledging what needs to be worked on, you can both attempt to move forward.

Understanding Your Role in the Relationship

Whether or not you’ve decided to keep this relationship, it’s always important to understand your role. None of us are perfect. We all have qualities that need to be worked on and developed further to become better people. So, what are your toxic habits or traits that you feel impede a relationship from moving forward? As I said in my Living Intentionally in Your Relationships blog, communication is key. If we lack communication, even with ourselves, the path for honesty and conversation becomes obstructed by all of the things we’re not saying.

Be honest with yourself and with the people you’re in relationships with. Understand how they affect you and, even more so, how you affect them. When you develop this understanding, you become a more self-aware person and better your relationships. Live more Intentionally by addressing or cutting out the toxicity in your life. Confront the situations that are negatively affecting you. You’ll learn that by facing situations head-on, rather than letting them fester and grow, you become a stronger, more independent person. You become more confident in the kind of relationships and people you want in your life. 

Lauren La.Rue

 

 

By: LaRue · In: Intentional Living · Tagged: boundaries, controlling, emotional exhaustion, gaslighting, manipulation, narcissist, negativity, selfish, setting boundaries, toxic, ungrateful

you’ll also love

How to Deal with InsecurityHow to Deal with Insecurity: Understanding Your Own to Grow
How Being Selfish will Help You Achieve Your Dreams
MinimalismIntentional Living & Minimalism: The Art of Living with Less

Join the List

Stay up to date & receive the latest posts in your inbox.

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Next Post >

Reduce Everyday Stress: 7 Easy Self-Care Techniques

Find Me On Insta

@laurenlheureux

living a great life living a great life
I’ve been working on finding my natural flow sta I’ve been working on finding my natural flow state ✨ I feel like since I moved I’ve struggled with find the right balance of work and play. But when I started meditating more and letting go of the natural guilt I felt for not being busy all the time, I realized I was letting go of some of the creative blocks I was facing. 💡

Instead of forcing work or play, I just started listening to what felt right in whatever moment it was. Whether it’s Tuesday and 3PM, even though I thought I “should be working,” if I wanted to read instead, I just let myself enjoy what felt right in the moment. 

I’m still learning to do this, continuing to let go of the guilt and embracing the freedom of my schedule and finding my own personal blend of balance. ✨ 

But each day, it’s feeling more and more natural to just go with the flow 🔥 (and as a Virgo, I assure you it’s harder than it sounds for me) 🙃
Striving to live a life where mimosa’s at noon a Striving to live a life where mimosa’s at noon and fine dining for lunch is the regular 🌞💛 

It’s not even the luxury of it, but the mindset of even when I’m not “working,” the work I’ve already put in is working for me! I love knowing that while I’m at lunch, my content is reaching the people it’s meant for. 

This was the third straight month in a row La.Rue reached over 1,000 separate people in just four weeks. I’ve been receiving amazing comments and feedback about the growth of the content at La.Rue and it means the world to me to know that even if I’m just impacting one, I am making an impact. 🔥 

Visit the link in bio to read or listen and sign up for 1:1 coaching! 🤍
To my absolute favorite woman in the world. You in To my absolute favorite woman in the world. You inspire me everyday and I love you so dearly. ❤️
Spring Saturdays have me thriving 🦋 A day of y Spring Saturdays have me thriving 🦋 
A day of yoga, flow, and expansion is exactly why I adore this city. Feeling Zen 🤍

Footer

Shop

  • Freebies
  • Products
  • Course

Info

  • Contact
  • Disclosure
  • Privacy Policy

stay in the know

Copyright © 2022 · Design by La.Rue Creative Studio · Theme by 17th Avenue